Ben and I filed our I-130 petition with the USCIS (US Citizenship and Immigration Services) back in late May, 2012. The average waiting time on an approval allowing us to move forward to the next step is 5 months. We’re looking at somewhere around the end of October.
The time has both flown by, yet also dragged on sooo slow! If patience is a virtue, then I am VERY virtuous! We’ve been at this waiting game for almost 3 years. Our anniversay is October 1st. There are days I can’t believe it’s already been 3 years and others when I can’t remember what it was like before we came into each other’s lives.
We are in the process of planning another trip for me to go see him next month. I’m saving every penny possible so that I can buy my ticket by the end of this month. There are moments when it’s a choice between Starbucks and a week with my husband. Will one cup of coffee make a difference? Not one, but one every day will!
I can hardly think about anything besides buying my ticket and having a set date to look forward to. KNOWING that I can hold my husband again soon. A week or two isn’t long, but it’s enough to tide us over until his interview to come live Stateside. God willing that will go smoothly and quickly once we get that approval in October! No more hold ups, I say!
How does one live in today when what they hold dearest is in the future? We have a great relationship full of love, tenderness, laughter, companionship…. with 10,000 miles and the Atlantic ocean between us. The future of being physically together brings all of our hopes for children, a home, daily laughter, bickering, making love, paying bills, starting a business together to a reality. They cannot happen with us on different continents.
We both spend a lot of time talking and planning our life together. It’s hard to stay in today and what makes this very moment wonderful when there is so much tied up in tomorrow. I enjoy each and every moment we spend together… whether it’s online, on the phone, or face-to-face. Despite enjoying every moment in any form, I still find myself constantly missing him and dreaming of the future when this distance has been obliterated.
I can’t tell you how many hundreds of times I tell him “I miss you”. I do miss him, but I tell him even when we are spending time together. How do I get into the moment and be happy with here and now when what I long for is in the future? This feels like such a connundrum! I’m sure it’s actually quite simple, yet it feels extremely difficult!
We spent an hour or so chatting when I got home from work this morning. I told him I could sleep well this morning now that I’ve seen his face, heard his voice, and spent some time laughing and playing with him. Enjoy the simplest of moments until we can be together in the future without longing for that future. This is the key.
I will leave you with a quote I love which I saw many years ago. I don’t recall who said these words, perhaps they were anonymous? I don’t intend to plagiarize.
“He who forever seeks a brighter future and doesn’t live for today has missed the meaning of life somewhere along the way.”
True words to live by. Good night.